The 9 Things I Learned Interviewing Strangers For Naked Stranger Podcast
By: Dillan Cohen
Naked Stranger Podcast
This is a guest blog post, written by Dillan Cohen of Naked Stranger Podcast. EarBuds Podcast Collective is a listening movement. We send a weekly email that contains a theme and 5 podcast episodes on that theme, and each week’s podcast picks are curated by a different person. Anyone can curate a list. We also release our lists as blog posts from time to time.
As host of the Naked Stranger Podcast, I have the unique experience of interviewing anonymous strangers who come on the show agreeing to be an open book. The goal of each week’s episode is to facilitate the guest reaching somewhere vulnerable and authentic in our hour or so conversation. While no two “strangers” and by extension, no two episodes are alike, I’ve learned a great deal from these honest, open conversations.
1. The Power Of Anonymous Conversations
Cora Rose Nimtz
The first thing I learned when I started the show is how freeing an anonymous format is. For our guests, it’s the dual combination of not being seen and not revealing their identity that I believe really allows them to open up and reach that rare level of honesty and vulnerability that you don't often encounter in conversations, especially conversations with strangers. In some ways that environment creates a unique paradox. We don’t know what the guests look like, we don’t know who they are, and yet we come to know them on such an intimate level that the connection often feels deeper than with most people we interact with daily.
2. What happens when you move beyond surface level chit-chat
I’ve had a few interviews that didn't end up making it into full episodes for a number of reasons, but one common reason is when I’m unable to get beyond the surface with a guest (as the host, I’m probably more to blame than the guest when this happens). This usually plays out like a perfectly pleasant conversation but ultimately not one worth making into the season. Both on the show and in real life, there is something powerful that happens when two people move beyond the surface in a conversation. It’s as if senses are heightened, your breath slows and you realize your words now carry a certain weight. Each step further down the rabbit hole of shared words and revelations becomes a new frontier, and a new depth discovered.
3. We’re all just trying our best
One of the most profound things I’ve learned and am reminded of in nearly every interview is that past all the labels, stereotypes, successes and failures we prescribe to those we encounter, the one common denominator, the one great truth, is each one of us is trying our best. It sounds simple but to me there is a really comforting, really humbling feeling in that realization. Things happen, some catch feelings, some feelings get hurt, sometimes we do the right thing, something not so much, but in the end, truly we are all just trying our best. The core of these interviews always seems to reveal that about each guest.
@madmenqts
4. No one has it all figured out
A natural segway from us all just trying our best, is the understanding that really nobody has it all figured out. This is one of those things that sounds obvious but when you have these intimate conversations (or listen to them), I think you connect to that understanding on a deeper level. I think there is something unifying about seeing this firsthand in these anonymous conversations. When you remove the ego attached to a person's name or identity and these full truths are allowed to come out, it becomes easier to see and live this fact.
5. We never really know what chapter we’re in
Strangers of all ages and phases of life have been guests on the show. After recording the first season, being able to step back and consider all the events and turbulence of each guest’s life allowed for a unique perspective. One guest, in her late 50’s, talked about how her 20’s were filled with turmoil and dire straits, her 30’s with adversity and determination and now, her 50’s with pride, happiness and comfort. If I had interviewed her a few decades earlier, her conversation and outlook would be entirely different and much bleaker. It made me think about other guests, where they were in life when we talked and what their future might hold. No matter what we might think, we never really know what next chapter awaits us.
6. You’d be surprised what details matter when someone opens up completely
I’ll be honest, when I first started interviewing these guests who agreed I could ask them absolutely anything, I thought I’d be drawn to the juicy stuff, the potentially not safe for work intimate details of a person’s life they don’t often share. But once the conversations began, I found it much more rewarding to explore the emotionally intimate details, rather than the physical ones. When someone opens themself up fully, those physical tales quickly seem shallow in comparison to their deeper truths.
New Yorker Cartoon
7. Guests may be anonymous but their stories and struggles are all too familiar
When someone comes on the show, I don’t know what their face looks like, I don’t know their real name, or where they live, so it’s always surprising to me how a person that is a question mark in so many ways can come off as so relatable. I’ve learned that the labels we often think define us, such as our profession or appearance, really are insignificant when it comes to revealing our genuine self and struggles. These material things, so easy to get caught up in, are so quick to vanish or not matter in the face of real connection and openness. We may not know what the person looks like, but by knowing their pain or their hope, we connect to them in a way no photograph or resume can do justice.
8. Even in the midst of a pandemic and quarantine, our ability to connect with one another can be stronger than ever
It’s no surprise this year has ushered in a wave of online communication trends, work meetings and classes have moved to Zoom, and first dates to FaceTime. With these trends, it may seem easy to lose the thread of real communication but I don’t think in practice that’s been the case. Personally I value phone calls and catching up with my family and closest friends now more than ever. On Naked Stranger Podcast, the conversational depths we explore with nothing more than a shared audio connection, affirms my belief in the power of digital relationships and just how small and connected technology can make the world. (When used for the right goals)
9. We all have a story worth sharing
My last observation is probably my favorite and what I think might be most important: Each one of us has a story worth telling. There’s many amazing podcasts that interview and tell the stories of notable or newsworthy guests. In contrast, I want and hope Naked Stranger is a show that can make compelling content while shining a light on guests or “strangers” who may feel anything but notable. Who may even feel a little overlooked or forgotten. If a guest comes on the show and has an amazing or remarkable story to tell, we’ll go there, and my job as host becomes a little easier. But the guests, who say for example, never leave their couch, they’re the ones with stories that uniquely fascinate me. If they’re open to digging deep, open to sharing what they’re scared of or hiding from once they leave those comfortable couch cushions, that’s where we learn something, that’s when we hit real truth. And after our conversation, hopefully this open process gives them, me, and the listener some new found strength or at least some new found solidarity, in the daily adversity we all encounter.
----
Naked Stranger Podcast is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and most podcast platforms. Visit www.nakedstrangerpodcast.com for additional information.
Hey, readers! Did you enjoy this blog post? We wanted to combine two of our favorite things: podcast listening and guest contributions. Do you have an idea for a blog post that combines podcasts with your favorite things? Let us know! We’d love for you to write a guest blog post for us!
